You’ve almost got to commend this idiot on his commitment to laziness. If he could apply this dedication to something productive, he wouldn’t be in prison.

Back in February, 21-year-old Kierran Batchelor of Coventry, West Midlands, England was arrested for robbing two houses. He got a suspended 40-week sentence, as long as he met with a probation officer DAILY at 10:00 A.M.

But he missed several meetings, and on Friday, he was back in court with a RIDICULOUS request. He asked the judge if he could go to prison . . . because he just couldn’t wake up for the 10:00 A.M. meetings.

Now . . . he WAS working at a warehouse from 10:00 P.M. to 6:00 A.M. But you’d THINK he could’ve figured out a way to adjust his schedule to work that job AND make his appointments. But he couldn’t.

The judge said he was prepared to give Kierran a second chance even after missing the meetings, but Kierran didn’t want it, so the judge sent him to prison for 40 weeks. Kierran thanked him as he was led out of the courtroom in handcuffs.

(The Telegraph / Daily Mail)

You’ve heard CHRIS KELLEY doing ESPN’s “This . . . is SportsCenter” voiceovers for 13 YEARS, and now you can put a face to the voice.

Chris showed up on SportsCenter in person for the first time recently . . . and he’s kind of scary-looking.

He also did an interview with an ESPN podcast. He says he usually does his voiceover work in his basement “in the woods” somewhere in the “northwest corner” of Connecticut.

Last week, Walmart security guards in Chandler, Arizona spotted 56-year-old Tomas Arenas trying to shoplift a bottle of beer.

So they grabbed him on the way out and brought him back inside. Tomas knew he was SCREWED . . . so he came up with the best escape plan he could think of.

He pulled down his pants . . . and started pooping all over the store.

Security grabbed him, and when the cops got there he was arrested. He was hit with one shoplifting charge . . . and four charges for the pooping plan, including indecent exposure, defecating in public, loitering, and disorderly conduct.

(Arizona Republic)