Now I see why you rear about insane defenses in court, because you never know, it may work.

Last August, 54-year-old Melvyn Webb of Basingstoke, Hampshire, England was riding a train and a woman saw him vigorously FONDLING HIMSELF over his pants. She called the police and he was arrested.

This week, he was on trial for a public indecency charge, and he offered up one hell of a defense: He says he wasn’t pleasuring himself, he was STRUMMING a, quote, “IMAGINARY BANJO.” And, believe it or not, the jury bought it.

Melvyn also demonstrated how he plays an imaginary banjo on his leg in the courtroom . . . and the jury couldn’t find proof he was playing with himself and NOT air banjoing. So he got off. YEAHHHH HE DID!  I can’t wait for the “I was schucking some imaginary corn on the cob” alibi.  Here is a pic of our banjo beater.

 

 

(Mirror.co.uk)

If you thought CHYNA was the pro wrestler you’d least like to see in a porno, I think I can change your mind. Because there’s a HULK HOGAN sex tape being shopped around.

It features Hulk with an unidentified brunette . . . so it’s obviously not his ex-wife LINDA or his current wife JENNIFER . . . who are both blondes. There’s no word when the tape was filmed.

TMZ saw a clip, in which Hulk pulls off his shirt and tells the woman, quote, “I started to work out again.” Then he runs his hands through his hair. Or what’s left of it. Oh, and Hulk has a thong-shaped tan line.

Hulk isn’t denying this. In fact, he tells TMZ the tape must have been recorded at least five years ago, after his divorce from Linda, but before he met Jennifer . . . when he went on a four-and-a-half-month alcohol-and-sex bender.

He says, quote, “During that time, I don’t even remember people’s names, much less girls.” As such, he doesn’t know who the woman in this tape is.

But he will be sending his legal team after anyone who tries to distribute it. (–Listen to Hulk’s comments here.)

Hulks attorney says he didn’t even know he was being recorded, and called the tape, quote, “an outrageous invasion of privacy and breach of trust if it is genuine.”

Seems tough to embarass a guy that wears a speedo and a doo-rag.

You would too if you had to listen to Fox News.

What team will Peyton Manning be a member of for game 1 of the 2013 Regular Season Odds couortesy of Bovada.lv

Miami Dolphins                                      2/1

Washington Redskins                            13/4

Seattle Seahawks                                  7/2

Arizona Cardinals                                   7/2

New York Jets                                       21/4

Kansas City Chiefs                                21/4

This seems like a lot of work to get out of paying $33.  On Saturday night, 42-year-old Robert Engles of Boulder, Colorado was drinking at a restaurant.  When he got his tab, it was $33.  And apparently that was WAY TOO MUCH for him to handle.

He tried to run out without paying, but employees blocked the exit.  So Robert ran out to a covered patio, pulled out a KNIFE, and started sawing a HOLE through one of the thick plastic walls.

He got through . . . but found himself blocked by a chain-link fence.  When employees confronted him there, he pointed the knife at them.

He was arrested for felony menacing, fraud, and criminal mischief.  To avoid his $33 tab, he caused about $600 in damage.

(Boulder Daily Camera)