Alanis Morissette causes gay domestic violence? Is that a new stereotype? Can we please make it one?

24-year-old Allen Casey and his boyfriend, 33-year-old Todd Fletcher, live together in Jacksonville, Florida. But things went bad on Sunday, because of Todd’s apparent OBSESSION with Alanis Morissette.

Allen wanted Todd to stop listening to her constantly, and Todd said no way. They argued, and it ended with Allen smacking Todd IN THE FACE with a PLATE.

When the cops came, he told them he attacked his boyfriend over Alanis because, quote, “That’s all the mother[effer] listens to.” He was arrested for felony domestic battery.

(The Smoking Gun)

Mission 26 The Big Endeavour from Givot on Vimeo.

Michael Ferns is a high school senior in St. Clairsville, Ohio and a running back for the football team. He has a scholarship to play at the University of Michigan next year . . . and he has 11 touchdowns this season. (–St. Clairsville is 130 miles south of Cleveland.)

Two Fridays ago, in the fourth quarter of a game that St. Clairsville won 56-27, Michael got the ball and seemed to be headed for his twelfth touchdown. He ran 52 yards down the sideline, with no one on the other team in position to stop him.

But then Michael slowed down and STEPPED out of bounds at the one-yard line. The referees were so surprised that they initially signaled for a touchdown. But Michael and his teammates successfully argued that he DIDN’T really score. Here’s why . . .

On the next play, the team gave the ball . . . and the touchdown . . . to Logan Thompson, a freshman who rarely gets to play. Logan’s father died two days before the game . . . and the team decided to give him a chance to score a touchdown for his dad.

(Yahoo!)

You know times are tough when THIS is the type of question we’re asking: How much money would it take for you to dunk your head in a five-gallon bucket of other people’s PEE?

How about $450? Because that’s what one Cleveland Browns fan pocketed for doing it at a tailgate this weekend. And the video of it is on YouTube.

Just to be clear, this was a tailgate BEFORE the Browns-Bengals game. So right after he does it, he starts squirting hand sanitizer all over his head . . . because he still had to go sit through an entire football game.

(–And he probably smelled like a toilet anyway. Maybe it was good luck though, because the Browns managed to beat the Bengals 34 to 24, and win their first game of the season. They’re now 1 and 5.)

(–He does it at 2:29, and grabs the hand sanitizer at 2:40. At :45, he says his wife is going to kill him if he does it, and his friends promise she won’t find out. Around 1:20, some random guy tries to one-up him and offers to do it for $200.)

WARNING: It really is disgusting, reading about it should be just fine for you, but if you must. Here is the video